Clear and Present

The Mouse outside my House

As I write this there is a little fieldmouse which has been crouched outside my house for about forty minutes. She may be there all  night. Traffic, not much cause I live on top of a steep hill, is zooming by and people are walking by and she hasn't moved.  She's paralyzed. 

Flash back twelve hours.  I live in a fire area where brush needs to be cleared away from near my house.  By order of the fire department. So - I've had workers clearing and chopping down my backyard all day.

I think that's where she used to live.

So - her home is gone. Maybe her family is gone.  Maybe everything she's ever known is gone.  She has no feelings, I think, except for anxiety and fear.  Both of which have paralyzed her.

If she scooted across the street she could find a cosy nest in my neighbors house.  He hasn't cleared his yard yet.  If she stays where she is she will probably be killed by an exuberant passing dog or a malicious child. Move. Stay. Go. Don't go.

She can't weigh the pros and cons. She doesn't have the capability.  She moves with adrenaline. She sits with fear.

So there she is.  I feel bad for her. I want to save her.  Knowing that my intervention - my picking her up in my hand to save her - could be the cause of her death.

If she could only see what's possible, what's out there.  If she could only see that one step, one imperceptible shift could lead to safety.

But there she sits, paralyzed by fear.

Sound like anyone you know?

"What was that you didn't say?"

I'm indebted to Dr. Cynthia M. for her wise comment the other day:

"That which goes unexpressed - speaks loudest."

Coaches who work by phone a great deal know that sometimes they navigate by intuition based on the sound of the client's voice; hesitation; delay and sudden speeding up and slowing down of speech and - of course - by silence. 

The silence of your client means that you may be feeling your way through a dark room and suddenly you stub your toe. You don't know what's in your way but you need to stop and move it, or step around it, if you're going to continue.

If you're reading this and you're not a Coach -  know that you already do this to a greater or lesser extent.   You maybe haven't allowed it into your consciousness yet.  Once you do - this is a learned skill which can be fun to work with.  Try it on the phone with your clients; your colleagues or with your kids at home.  Listen for what isn't expressed; trust your intuition; navigate by curiousity; ask questions; expand your world.

                            

                    IMPROV WISDOM !

Excuse the exclamation point. But I've been waiting for this book for close to a year and it will finally be out on May 3rd. You can order it in advance at Amazon.

You'll see I've categorized this post under "Coaching"  That's because I think "Improv Wisdom" is a great coaching book - both to recommend to clients and to shift coaches in their thinking.  But this is also a book for everyone who wants to wake up to a life of meaning and unlimited possibility.

You can read the Rave Review from Publisher's Weekly here. 

Patricia Ryan Madson is a fascinating woman and a lot of fun! She's an eminent Professor of Drama at Stanford University; a brilliant writer, actress and the most Senior Instructor of Constructive Living in the United States.   

I'm fortunate enough to have been the recipient of her Improv Wisdom.  I use her maxims in my Coaching and my own life daily. They've helped me get more out of life and have made me a better Coach.  Whether she was explaining the finer points of Buddhist psychology, showing me the Japanese art of painting on silk or making granola - the Life lessons were similar.

The Donkey In The Well

Love this story.  It's great for clients who are discouraged.

A donkey fell into a deep well. The farmer knew he could never get the donkey out so he decided to fill in the well and the donkey.

He threw a shovel full of dirt down on to the donkey. The donkey shook off the dirt and stepped up.  The farmer tried again.  Once again, the donkey shook off the dirt and stepped up on top of it. The farmer was frustrated and called all his neighbors who came to pitch in.  Pretty soon there was a big crowd of men throwing shovel after shovel of dirt down into the well.  The donkey just kept shaking it off and stepping on up.

This went on all afternoon.

At the end of the day the donkey stepped on top of the last pile of dirt and walked out of the well back to his stable.

Shake off the negativity and frustrations and discouragements and use them to raise you up to your goal