Clear and Present

Dear Mr. Barker,

I've been dating this guy for a little less than two months. I like him but he's hasn't introduced me to many of his friends. I know he doesn't have much family in this area. But I'd still like to meet other people who know him.  What should I do?

Signed. Not sure in Pacoima.

Dear Not Sure,

Consider. What are you not sure about? Him or you? Do you like him? Does he treat you with respect and courtesy? Do you trust your impressions of him? If not, why not?  What would others add to the mix except validation of your existing feelings? Okay. When "she who must be obeyed" accompanies me to the dog park she leaves me and walks away. She doesn't ask for the background and pedigree of everyone else in there. After a brief round of butt-sniffing  I decide who I want to buddy up with and who's got a bug up his ass. I don't need to meet his mother or the pit bull that got in over the fence. You humans make this way too complicated. Kindness and thoughtfulness suffice. If you have both - consider yourself blessed and take each day as it comes. Nothing is given to us and, actually, nothing is in our control. Even if everyone in his family considers this guy a mutt he can be a purebred in your heart.

Breaking News! Water no longer essential to Human Life!

Film at 11.

Help me with this. A 120 nation forum, The World Water Forum, rejected a platform by some Latin American countries that water be considered a basic human right. It would go only so far as to admit that it was "important to human development." Hello. Let's take the carafes of water off the conference tables of these mouth-breathers and make them debate the issue for a day or two.  They also rejected sanitation as being a basic human right. What year are we in?

Africa splits apart

Saw a story this morning that seemed to have been ripped from the front page of the National Enquirer.

The continent of Africa is splitting apart due to volcanic activity and a new ocean is forming right now as you read this "with staggering speed". The Red Sea will "soon" spill into the Ethiopian desert and form a new ocean.

The article, by Axel Bojanowski, details in breathless Indiana Jones fashion how scientists barely escaped with their lives as the ground started to shake and split apart beneath them. They jumped back into the helicopter and took off before a huge fissure could swallow it and them.

Great article and I read all the way thru to the end to find out when exactly this monumental event would take place. I like to plan my vacations well ahead of time and a nice week or two on an Ethiopian beach with plenty of water sports seemed like just the ticket.

But don't book just yet. Seems this imminent, staggeringly swift event will take about another 10 million years. Oh well. To a geologist I guess that is fast.

Wonder if geologists have a different sense of time. Wonder if they're not bothered by long supermarket lines and traffic jams. When you spend your life studying things that won't happen till 10 million years after your death - ten minutes waiting for your half-decaf skim latter with extra foam is probably no sweat at all.

Quick. What do Abu Graib and Enron have in common?

I checked out "The Smartest Guys in the Room", the inside story of the Rise and Fall of Enron,  the other night. Great documentary. Makes you want to  break out a machete and hack something.

There were multiple soundbites of Skilling and Lay, wide-eyed and grave, insisting that they could't possibly have known about the antics of Fastow who was cooking the books in their company. He was, after all, a rogue employee. His fraud was, in the words of our old friend Ollie , a stand-alone, off the shelf kind of an operation.

First off. When you pull $300 million out of your own company in stock and bonuses you'd better know all that's going on on your watch - right down to who's stealing paperclips.

I had a vague feeling of deja vu.  Then it hit me. Another soundbite.

Condi Rice batting her eyelashes before the 9/11 commission insisting that no-one could possibly have known that Bin Laden would have arranged for a plane to be flown into a U.S. building. (With the possible exception of the people who found written plans for just such an event several years before and a further exception for the individuals in the FBI who received those reports).

Bushco loudly protesting that the tortures inside Abu Graib

Secret poll contradicts Bush

A secret poll conducted by the British Ministry of Defense in October 2005 (and given almost no media exposure in the U.S. - Quel surprise) draws alarming conclusions regarding the ordinary Iraqi citizens opinions of the occupation of their country.

Less than 1 %. Yes, you read that correctly, one per cent of Iraqi's think that the allied coalition occupation is a good idea.

Millions of people - 65% of Iraqi's favor insurgent atacks on British troops.

85% of Iraqi citizens are strongly opposed to the current allied occupation of their country.

Seems the battle for their hearts and minds was out Waterloo.